Middle Aged Beauty Queen

This Has Been a Weird Week & It’s Only Wednesday!

Posted on: June 13, 2012

Today started off with a phone call from my friend wanting to know what I was doing up up at 1:30 in the morning texting him. I was up at 1:30 in the morning worrying about Ashley. Ashley has decided she doesn’t want to be married any more. Even though I was never a fan of her getting married so young, I grew to accept it, hell I even grew to love her husband. You see her husband is one of the great men in this world. He is the kind of man every mother hopes her daughter will marry, he is smart, handsome, hard working, and loyal. He is a moral man and would never do anything to hurt anyone. As Ashley told her Dad, he is a saint.

They have been married now for 6 or 7 years. And she has come to learn that being married isn’t all roses and champagne. Let’s just say the bloom has worn off the rose. The thing I wish I could tell Ashley, and any young woman just starting out in a marriage is that, yes, the bloom fucking wears off. It’s when the bloom is gone that a marriage begins.It is rare to find a person that you can love, that you have enough love for them to want to stick it out, good days and bad. I think if you are lucky enough to have that, then hold onto it with all your might.

You think life is passing you by? You think you will have to make compromises? The shocking news is, this is life. This is it. That’s all there is. You make it what you want. You want to be happy? Then be happy. It truly is that simple. Yea, sure you can live a life with out making compromises. But you know what? It’s a lonely life. I’ll take compromises any day.

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A life without compromises is a lonely life.Judi Tierney

The bottom line is, I love Ashley as if she were my own daughter, I will always support her, encourage her, cheer for her and be there for her.. I may not like the choices she makes, but they are her choices to make, I respect that.

Life is too Short. On Sunday of this weird week, I said good bye to a friend. Not good bye like see ya next week, or have a great trip, but GOOD BYE.
This friend of mine is dying and does not have very many days left. She is my ex-husbands fiancé. They have been together for many years, they bought a house together here a couple of years ago, he recently proposed to her. Shortly thereafter, she was diagnosed with cancer. She has cancer all through her body, every organ is affected. The tumors are growing rapidly and she will die, soon.

People may find it odd that I said Good Bye to her and that I consider her my friend. I genuinely like her, always have. I’ve known her for many years even before she started dating my ex-husband. After they started dating we would get together maybe 2-3 times a year, usually because of a “woman” calling her, or an irate husband, all of which happened to me many times during and after our marriage. She is one of those kind of people who is always happy, always smiling and so friendly one can’t help but like her. She loves my ex-husband, shortcomings and all. She has known about his penchant for not being very faithful, she knew of his infidelities and yet she still loves with all she has and what’s even better he loves her with all his heart. Its hard to explain a man like this, one who puts on a face to the world of a church goer, smart, helpful to people but yet sees no wrong in (there’s no other way to put it) screwing around. But, she is the love of his life.. This does not make me angry or jealous, it honestly makes me happy that he has someone who cares so deeply for him. Even though we are divorced, he was my husband, he is the father of my children, and I will always love him. All I ever wanted for him, was for him to be happy. With her, he is happy. Without her, his heart will be broken.

I had a nice visit with her, just the 2 of us. I thanked her for loving (I’m not mentioning his name) and for being so good to my kids and my former father-in-law. These people are my family. She has been an integral part of that family, even more so than me, I wanted her to know that I acknowledge that, and truly appreciate the love she has shown all of them. She told me she knew how I felt after I knew of his shortcomings and how badly it hurt, going through it herself. She told me that our “talks” always made her feel better. Her parents arrived for a visit so I left. When I hugged her good bye she told me she loved me and I told her I loved her. As I was headed out the door she said, I really mean that. and I told her I really mean that. And I do. . She is a great and wonderful woman who will be sorely missed. **UPDATE** That was the last time I saw her.

Is There Such A Thing As Happily Ever After?
In my family, my mom and dad have been married for over 60 years. They have had their ups and downs and it wasn’t always a bed of roses. More than once my mom kicked my dad out and he would put a few shirts in his pick up, drive around the block and then come back. My dad was a construction worker, a union guy, a real man’s man, which also meant he wasn’t much of a family man. He spent more time at the bars drinking with his buddies than he did with us kids at the ball park. But it’s funny, because now, all these years later, he is all about family. He is the perfect father, someone you can talk to, someone you can depend on. He and my mother adore each other. Every day I see that yes, there is a happily ever after, but it wasn’t always the case. I think I told this story before on here, but the other day I painted my mom’s nails. My dad was gone shooting with his friends. He always calls when he’s headed home. Mom told him on the phone that I colored her hair and he’d better notice it. (she had a stroke a few years ago and can get mixed up). I asked her why she said that and she told me that he’s been taking things a little for granted lately and she wants him to notice her. She said if I don’t tell him, he won’t know it’s important to me. How freaking profound is that? When dad came home he went on and on about how pretty her hair was, she just sat there beaming at him like a little school girl. True love? You betcha!

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If I don’t tell him, how will he know it’s important to me?— Mom

This weird week seems to be a week of endings. All of which I hate. I hate it that (insert name here) won’t have his happily ever after. I hate it that Ashley is walking away from her happily ever after. Most of all, I hate that sooner, rather than later my parents happily ever after will come to an end.

This is not like my usual posts and if you are bothered by that, I am sorry. But this has been my week, so far, and it’s only Wednesday.. Tomorrow I will be back to some fabulous nails! I promise.
Keep Calm and Paint Your Nails! 💅

11 Responses to "This Has Been a Weird Week & It’s Only Wednesday!"

You write beautifully.It brings tears to my eyes and many of the things you say strike very close to home.I don’t know what else to say but God Bless you and your Family.

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Thank you Linda, I appreciate you reading and commenting on my blog. It means a lot to me. 💗 Judi

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So much to say, so I sent you a long e-mail 😛

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Oh, Judi, such a beautiful and heartfelt post. I’m sorry you’re having to deal with so much turmoil right now, but you are doing it with composure and grace. Take care. ~indie

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Judi-
That picture of your mom and dad brought a tear to my eye, beautiful. There is no end to true love, it lives forever beyond life. Lets just say, I have learned this the hard way.
~Diane~

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Thank you Diana, your friendship means a lot to me. 💗

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Thank you Indie, I appreciate your kind words. After this morning I don’t how composed or graceful I am but it’s nice you think so! Your friendship means a lot to me, I’m so happy to have you as my friend. I really mean that. 💗

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They are awful cute, aren’t they. Thank you Diane, I appreciate your friendship as well. I know I’ve said that in a reply for the last 3 posts but I value each and every one of you as friends. 😘

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I have a lot to say too but for now I’ll just say…wow, that was an awesome post, so inspiring and true and lovely and insightful and I just enjoyed reading it so very much xoxo – Lori

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Thank you for reading it.
I appreche.
— jdi

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I’m glad you read it and liked it. Love, Judi

Sent from my iPad

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I have been a busy dog because my Mom has this new seizure disorder and its up to me to keep her home when she needs to. I also let her know when it's time to take me for my walk, my neighbors like me too.
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